Monday, November 13, 2006

CYNICAL, MOI?

Last weekend saw yet another attempt (by my somewhat crazy friend) at hooking me up. The babe called me on Thursday evening to say that she was dragging me along to some guy's birthday dinner party on saturday. Our conversation went something like this:

me: so who is this guy then? (thinking maybe it was someone from her church I didnt know)

her: Oh, he's a friend of xxx's. I dont know him personally.

me: So why are you so keen to go to his birthday then? Are you that jobless/ bored? (by the way my somewhat crazy friend is in a happy relationship herself, so no ulterior motives there, or so I thought...)

her: I just thought it would be fun...

me: (still not getting it) fun in what way?

her: stop asking questions, jare! Its just some guy who's a friend of a friend and he is turning 30 and besides he is Igbo.
Aha! The penny finally dropped and I didnt know whether to laugh or hiss very loudly. ( I think I managed to do both simultaenously).

me: oh, so what makes you think I would be interested in attending some random guy's 30th, just because he is Igbo?

her: you never know. xxxx says he is also good-looking and her taste is similar to your's. for her to say that someone is fine, he must be really fine!!

My people , make una see me see trouble oh! This babe and I have been friends for about 7 years; you would think she gets me by now. According to her my only criteria for dating a guy (or even giving him the time of day ) is if he was 1. Igbo and 2. Good -looking and not necessarily in that order. I wont lie and say that I wouldnt rather date a guy who was from my tribe, but if he happens to be non-igbo and I click with him, then I'm open to it as well. And as for the 'looks' thingy , which person (male or female) can say in all honesty that they are not initially attracted to someone based on their appearance? Well, if anyone denies this, then I'm afraid I would beg to differ; I think its very rare that this is the case. But at the end of the day, what one person may find attractive, another may not; its all purely subjective. This is the one thing I can never seem to make her understand - even she has experienced what I'm talking about in the past. Anyways, back to our conversation. I finally agreed (grudgingly) to accompany her to this dinner. So on Friday she rings me at work:

her: So what are you going to wear to the dinner?

me: What do you think? jeans of course!

her: why? you need to make an effort, you know.

me: why should I?

her: (sighing melodramatically) you are so pessimistic. Why dont you ever have any hope that you will hit it off with any one/have fun? The bible says that the expectations of the righteous will not be cut short and if your expectations are that you are not going to enjoy yourself, they will certainly not be cut short!

me: I dont need to have any hope, cos it seems like you have enough for the both of us and you aint even looking!

Long story short, we ended up not going to the dinner because xxxx couldn't make it herself, and I certainly wasn't going to be gate-crashing some random guy's birthday all in the name of getting my groove on! (Even though somewhat crazy friend tried to convince me otherwise. I'm still not sure if she was being serious or not).

Food for thought :This got me wondering; maybe I'm getting cynical in my old age. (not that I'm that old, o!) But if , like me, you've been in countless situations where someone has tried to play cupid, and 9 times out of 10 its ended ...not so well, then surely you should be forgiven for having such a nonchalant attitude towards the whole dating scene. Dont get me wrong, I'm no destiny's child (Independent woman) or pussy cat dolls ('I dont need a man') - those aint my regular anthems, of course I would eventually love to settle down with my 'Mr Right' but do I have to beat myself up in the quest to find him? I've heard from so many of my friends ( who are now or were in relationships) whose experience was that sometimes 'love' came knocking when they least expected or weren't searching for it. So I figured , why dont I take the same approach - sit back, relax, and kick up my feet and let whatever will be, be?

ps: The last statement is, by no means, a declaration that I intend to take a completely passive stance on the whole dating matter, rather I am determined not to stress myself out over it.
pps: To my somewhat crazy friend - you know I still luuuurve ya, right?

30 Comments:

At 11:43 PM, Blogger Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

lol.. ur friend is a joker jare... i dn't like blind dates @ all.. trust me.. when a friend hooks you up.. 9.9 times out of 10... he's ugly or weird or short or sumthing.. hehe.. its better 2 meet em on ur own.. however.. theres nuttin wrong with dancing oh..go and get ur boogie on.. its a naija party too.. so u know theres gonna be some shina peters and stylplus.. and jollof rice.. lol.. have a great week babe

 
At 9:31 AM, Blogger Young Miss Williams said...

What up girl!

I think you've got the right attitude. You seem happy with yourself and you've got standards so just keep doing what you're doing and you'll probably come across a Mr Right(now) soon enough!

Till then keep smiling and networking, and I don't think a couple more blind dates would be THAT bad... you NEVER know! ;)

x mwah x

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger LondonBuki said...

I haven't been on a blind date yet and I don't plan to oh!

I am so happy, none of my friends have tried to hook me up with anyone, maybe they think I will be rude or something!!! LOL!!!

Everyone always says that - When you are least expecting it, Mr Right comes knocking... I have heard that enough times.

Hmmm...

I like you attitude my dear BH, you haven't written men off but at the same time, you are not falling over yourself to meet a man.

Have a good week :-)

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger Dilch said...

You are soooooooooo lucky, I wish that when I needed it, I had a friend that cared like that. Nobody ever went to allllll that effort to hook me up - hence the long years of singledom!!!

 
At 4:26 PM, Blogger Daddy's Girl said...

It can be tricky, this whole dating thing. Too much 'gra-gra' doesn't get one anywhere, only leads to pathetic desperation and bad choices. Relax and you start to wonder if you're too relaxed. I still think relaxing is better - it's more fun, and hopefully, as you said, things will click when least expected. Fingers crossed and hands lifted in prayer.

 
At 4:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

BH,

From reading your blogs you seem pretty cool and I'm glad you are not a desperado, most guys find that trait quite unattractive. And if you were, you might end up with the wrong person because you think you aren't going to get anyone better.

Cynic or not i like your style.
My thoughts - keep on keeping on.
I like you and i don't even know you. There's probably someone lurking around somewhere nearby.

 
At 8:46 AM, Blogger TaureanMinx said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:47 AM, Blogger TaureanMinx said...

My sister, you are not the only one oh, hooked up friends by default try and pimp their single friends but since I haven't done a great job of hooking myself up I generally keep an open mind. If he's unnatractive, crazy etc then i'm gone lol.

 
At 9:41 AM, Blogger Beautifully Human said...

@OWNB & Young miss: yeah, I always try to look at it from the point of view that, if not anything,it beats sitting @ home on a sat nite!
@Londonbuki: believe me, blind dates are just not it at all!
@ Dilch: yes oh, I'm lucky to have such a friend who has only good intentions.
@ daddy's girl: prayers, prayers, prayers... lol
@anon: thanx; that's really nice of you.
@tminx:me too, I'll run a mile! lol

 
At 12:28 PM, Blogger Calabar Gal said...

LOL GIRL SIT UP!! Dat biological clock is ticking u know!!! (smile)

Just go along for the party as long as ur friend dosent make the match making too obvious, you'll be okay. Enjoy urself and have fun!! You'll be young only once!!

 
At 12:39 PM, Anonymous Opium said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 1:44 PM, Blogger chibs said...

I'm more like your friend. Always doing amebo and asking this person if he likes that person. When I was a child everybody found it quite endearing "Aw, she's such a sharp kid" they would say. Now all people say to me when I ask such questions is "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS."

 
At 2:52 PM, Blogger Beautifully Human said...

@cal girl: babes, are you trying to freak me out or something?!!! biological clock, ke!
@opium: this girl, mind yourself oh! wait till I c u on friday!
@chibs: I guess you are a true romantic at heart, then?

 
At 7:20 PM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

Aunty if I may ask,howz the best way to meet a guy?..LOL

U have a nice day jere dear

 
At 5:38 PM, Blogger Vera Ezimora said...

I LOVE playing match maker. But it's only fun when it's a joke. Like one time i hooked my friend, Ibukun up with a guy I knew she would NEVER date. he was shorter than her with a terrible accent. And I even brought him 2 her house. Hahaha. Gosh, that was fun.

And if u don't wanna meet the igbo guy ur somewhat crazy friend is hooking u up with, abeg collect his number and send it 2 me immediately. don't u know there is a scarcity of fine igbo men here? and u're there doing shakara

 
At 1:47 PM, Blogger Beautifully Human said...

@naijabloke: in answer to your question - by not gate-crashing his 30th birthday party!! lol
@vera: I'm begining to see that you have a bit of a malicious streak to you!

 
At 5:12 PM, Blogger Belle said...

hmmmm i no longer believe in "hook-ups"... so i understand your hesitation.
girl, just do you...the right man will come along (says fellow single blogger)...lol

 
At 7:29 PM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

Seems u finally got the hook up o .. updatesssssssss Plzzzz

 
At 12:30 PM, Blogger LondonBuki said...

Is anybody there?

 
At 12:58 PM, Blogger Desola said...

Isn't the rate of single girls these days just alarming? O ga o. Men must be feeling so good about their damn selves abi?

 
At 5:37 PM, Blogger Nkem said...

I've never met a matchmaker who actually hooked anyone and they stayed together. Matchmakers piss me off. Tell them to get a life!

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

Nne if I see you onanybody's blog without updating this page here ... U will see pepper ..LOL

U have a nice week

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger Vera Ezimora said...

Urrr..... hello, update!!! And by the way, you've been tagged.

 
At 3:23 PM, Blogger Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

I'm giving you just one day to update oh babe... otherwise..!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 5:45 AM, Blogger Vera Ezimora said...

BIA THIS GIRL, COMMON UPDATE THIS THING BEFORE VEX WILL CATCH UP WITH ME.

AND YOU BETTER DO YOUR TAG O!

 
At 4:49 AM, Blogger Vera Ezimora said...

This Igbo chic has seriously not updated her blog. Hmmm. Somebody is trying my patience o!

 
At 6:58 PM, Blogger omo naija said...

haha hilarious
you seem like a strong independent woman. we need more naija girls like that not to buy into the hype of love and marriage

 
At 3:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

SIT DOWN AND RELAX --- That was my watch word for the past 6 yrs and now almost 30 there is still nobody !
actually this matching making business doesn't gel with me too. tried to hook me up with a guy sometime and my God ! i the we talked for a coulple of times and i even called him up to know the kind of person he is and all but when i s met the guy -- i knew we couldnt even be friends
he was just ranting about one local home video or another new act and bla bla bla, . When i asked him what kind of books he read all how could say was some best sellers i read 12 yrs ago when i was still in secondary school !
i was n;t even feeling well so he offered to drop me at the clinic and fuel finished in his car --- he didn't even have the guts to tell the truth , gave me some silly lies and never even called back to know how i was doing !!! definately NOT my kind of acquintance lol!

 
At 3:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

SIT DOWN AND RELAX --- Those were my watch words for the past 6 yrs and now almost 30 there is still nobody !
Actually this matching making business doesn't gel with me too. A friend tried to hook me up with a guy sometime and my God ! we talked a couple of times and i even called him up to know the kind of person he is and all but when i s met the guy -- I knew we couldn’t even be friends
he was just ranting about one local home video or another new act in nigeria and bla bla bla, . When i asked him what kind of books he read all how could say was some best sellers i read 12 yrs ago when i was still in secondary school !
I wasn’t even feeling well so he offered to drop me at the clinic and fuel finished in his car --- he didn't even have the guts to tell the truth , gave me some silly lies and never even called back to know how I was doing !!! definitely NOT my kind of acquaintance talk less of friend lol!

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger babeandahalf said...

@ Nkem: Matchmaking does work ...sometimes. I tried my hands at two. One couple is married now, and let's just say the other couple is married now (to two separate people!!!)

 

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