Wednesday, October 04, 2006

MOTHER ON A MISSION

The story I'm about to recount actually happpened to me a couple of months ago. I was at work one fine, uneventful day when this lady comes up to my department asking for me; normally I wouldn't have batted an eyelid, except that she actually asked for me by my Nigerian name, a name very few people ( except those closest to me) call me. So I approached her, greeted her and asked her how I could be of assistance, all the time wondering who she was and how she knew my name. The dialogue was as follows:

MOAM: Ngozi* nwa m, kedu? (Ngozi my child, how are you?)

me: I'm fine ma. I'm sorry... but do I know you? (thinking that maybe she was some long lost aunty or a friend of my parents, someone from our hometown, etc) NOTE: this question was asked in the most polite, respectful way possible.

MOAM: (ignoring the question) You're Ngozi, arent you? its nice to see you; you're looking well.

me: yes, I'm Ngozi, but I dont seem to recognise you.

MOAM: I'm Mrs Chido*. (said in a way that suggested I should automatically recognise the name) i bu Ngozi onye? ( Ngozi who? i.e. what's your surname?)
By this point I should have sussed that something wasnt quite right, why was she asking me what my surname was if she knew me? But I answered the question, nevertheless.

me: Ngozi Okafor*. Do you know my parents?

MOAM: (smiling) ok. You're from Anambra state, right? what part?

me: Nnewi.

MOAM: you live locally?

me: yes, I live in Colindale (me and my verbal diarrhoea!!!)

At this point the phone in my office rings. I excuse myself and answer it. Its Carol, one of my colleagues, ringing from another department.

Carol: Jane* (referring to me by my english name) I've just had someone over here a few minutes ago asking for you, but she didnt seem to know exactly who she was looking for. First she asked if there was someone called Julie, then she asked for Janice. I said there was no one by that name working here, then she gave a description that matched you. So I asked her if the person she was after was known by another name; she didnt seem to know, but she said she was looking for a nigerian girl. Then another colleague asked, 'is her name also Ngozi?' and the lady was like, 'YES!' straightaway. 'she's the one I'm looking for!' So we directed her to your office, but I kept thinking it was a bit strange the way she acted, that's why I'm calling you.

me: thanks Carol. (put down the phone and addressed MOAM). Sorry, where did you say you know me from again?

MOAM: erm, you know my daughter Stella*? she went to FGGC Owerri.

me: no. I dont know anyone by that name and I didnt go to FGGC Owerri

MOAM: She has twins and she is going to throw a party for their 1st birthday which is coming up. She just moved to Colindale too , but she doesnt know a lot of people there, so she's looking to make some friends. If you like you can come over for the party, meet her , get to know her.

Obviously by this time my suspicion sensors had been fully activated. Who was she, what did she want from me and why was she asking all these questions? It was so obvious she did not know me either, so what was she playing at? I decided to make a quick getaway.

me: I'm sorry, but I dont know your daughter. I really have to go, I'm due at a meeting now. ( I start walking along the corridor and she follows suit. )
MOAM: do you know Chioma*? she also went to FGGC Owerri, she lives in Finchley.

I stopped. I do know a girl by that name, who lives in Finchley ,who also went to that school. Enquiring some more it turns out that her daughter is very good friend's with Chioma's sister. Ok, I calm down a bit, but not completely as she then proceeds to ask for my telephone number and address. I'm thinking ,'lady I've already let on too much information about myself ; just bcos your daughter happens to know my friend, it doesnt change the fact that I still dont know you from Adam.' Trying not to appear rude, I politely declined,so she gave me her telephone number and her daughter' s number and address instead!!
AH! See my trouble oh! This woman just does not give up! I decided to do some investigating of my own later; I was going to get to the bottom of this. The result of the said investigation will be reported in my next post.
To be continued......

*The names mentioned in this post have been changed to protect the identities of the parties involved.

7 Comments:

At 9:35 PM, Blogger Mari said...

This sounds interesting. I'll be back for the rest.

 
At 11:11 PM, Blogger LondonBuki said...

Interesting... please don't forget to conclude.

Scary though!

 
At 10:24 AM, Blogger LondonBuki said...

LOL!!! Can you see the comment above? I think that is SPAM!

 
At 1:03 AM, Blogger NaijaBloke said...

Where is ur investigation o,cos I have been waiting for it.
Am still waiting sha.

Take care o,cos this seems like a scam

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger Life through rose-tinted glasses said...

lol i enjoyed this gist oh i wonder why she wants u to come to her daughter's do so would she be going round looking for everyone who lives in colindale and invite them all in that case give her my number cos i live in colindale too lol. i'm definately going to wait for the investigation story so pls come and post quick. have a nice weekend

 
At 11:15 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

LOL!!!
Ngozi!! I am definetely interested in hearing the end of this gist oh!! I magine going round inviting people you dont know to ur grandchild's birthday!

The woman still thinks she's in Africa and doing PR on her daughter's behalf!! Oh I would love to see the look on her daughter's face when she gets to hear about her mum's moves...

 
At 5:52 AM, Blogger Noella said...

So you change your name to NGOZI OKAFOR!!! Well that's definitely what I'm calling you from now on......

 

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