ALL THAT GLITTERS DEFINITELY ISN'T GOLD!!!!
This thought came to my mind as I was driving home from work the other day. Whilst waiting at the traffic lights, a car pulled up beside me. I happened to glance at the occupant and did a double-take ; he was
foooiiinnneee!!!!! Nice hair, chiselled cheekbones, sharp suit, nice car.... dude was all that and a bag of chips!! (lol)
That is until he stuck one long, elegant finger as far up his nostril as possible, had a good dig-around, inspected the contents and ...
wait for it...
DEPOSITED IT IN HIS MOUTH!!
Eeeeewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NASTY!
And to make matters worse, dude seemed oblivious to the fact that he was being watched and continued to rummage through and feast on the contents of his nasal passages and it was like I was watching a train wreck; I couldn't tear my eyes away...
That is until the lights changed green. Beleive me , I couldn't get away fast enough!!!
MY BEST FRIEND
Where do I start on this one?
I’ve known her for about 8 years now. We met when I was in the 1st year of Uni through her cousin. I remember that day; I was in the lounge watching t..v. and she popped her head through the door, and asked me if I’d seen her cousin. I replied that I hadn’t and then she left and returned later with to watch t.v. whilst she waited for her cousin to show up. We got talking and I remember thinking, ‘ she’s alright, she’s funny.’
On various occasions, as was the case back then, we all used to go clubbing/partying together . Once we were standing in line waiting to get into the club and she got chatting to this random American girl who was in front of us. The babe started speaking in some serious American ‘fune’!!! I was in hysterics and the fact that we had to queue up for almost and hour in the freezing cold didn’t bother me as much ‘cos I was kept entertained the whole time!
We kind of kept in touch from then on, but I think the point at which we got closer was when her Uni’s Afro-carribean society had a party at some club and she introduced me to a friend of hers, who I hit it off with (though not instantly!) I think he was the reason we started talking a lot more 'cos she was constantly ringing me to ask me how things were going with him, etc.
Said guy has since long gone, but our friendship has stayed strong over the years. Looking back, I realise we have shared a lot of experiences ; both the good, the bad, the happy and the not so happy. At a period in my life I was going through a very rough patch - I was involved in a relationship that was not so healthy for me and when I was finally honest enough to admit this she refused to let me get into that ‘I’m feeling sorry for myself’ mode and bluntly gave me a good talking to! To an outsider listening in on that conversation it would have sounded like she was being harsh and unsympathetic, but in retrospect, I think that if she hadn’t told me those few home truths, I might still find myself in that relationship today.
She is one of the most selfless, generous people I know and is forever throwing surprise parties for friends on their birthdays, wether or not they feel like celebrating it. I remember my birthday a few years ago; I had invited about 10 of my friends out for a birthday dinner at some restaurant and 2 days prior to it they all started pulling out for one reason or the other. I was so upset and wanted to cancel the whole thing , but she convinced me to still have it , even if it was just going to be the two of us. So I did and imagine my surprise when, a few minutes after we arrived, everyone else all started showing up, one by one!! It was all a conspiracy between them and the plan was to surprise me by eventually turning up when I ddint expect them to, and beleive me I was pleasantly surprised!! On my birthday this year; I was in a very funny mood (in a bit of a funk, as Belle would say. lol) and I just wanted to be on my own and not even talk to anybody. Most people would have just let me be and wait for my mood to pass, but not her; she went ahead and planned a surprise for me, in the hopes that she could persuade me out of my funk. But I was adamant that I would not be celebrating that day and so unfortunately her efforts were wasted. Needless to say I felt and still do feel very bad that I didn’t appreciate what she was trying to do for me at the time, especially when I found out the lengths to whcih she had gone.
One selfless act I will never forget happened about 2 years ago when I found myself in a spot of bother over a speeding incident. I was subsequenty summoned to court and I literally freaked out because I didn’t have a UK driving licence at the time; I was still using my international one, but I thought ‘ oh my God, I’m going to have a criminal record and be charged with dangerous driving!’ Being a barrister, she offered to attend as my counsel to plead my case for me ( free of charge !). And it was a good thing she did bcos I was shaking like a leaf and couldn’t even speak for myself; I was so nervous!!!! That incident really touched me and for me it gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘through thick and thin.’
She has helped me grow as a christian, and while I do not claim to be the best I can be now (I’m still working on it and like everyone else I slip so very often), I can definitely say that my friendship with her has spiritually influenced me in a positive way. My love affair with gospel music really began after she introduced me to the various artists all from different genres and from then on I began to take more of an interest. She has been there and prayed for me and with me, particularly when I have been going through some tough times. I don’t always share my thoughts and let on what I’m really feeling but she knows and is always ready to offer advice and support, never mincing her words. If you’re looking for someone who will sugar-coat everything and tell you what you want to hear, beleive me she is the last person you should look for.
I really value her as a person for all of the above reasons as well as the fact with her what you see is what you get; when she’s angry or upset with she will make sure you know how she feels, but then the minute its all out of her system, she’ll be back to her normal crazy self. In this respect we’ve had our fair share of quarrels and arguments (remember New York, babes? ) She will go out of her way for the people she cares about and expects the same from them. Quite a few times, this expectation has not always been met (I’m speaking for myself here) but now I realise that’s what really makes a good friend and have learnt from my own shortcomings.
So as her birthday comes around this year I thought what better way to show my appreciation than to post a little tribute to her and let her know how much I really value her friendship. I don’t often say it bcos I’m not, and never have been, very good with words, but today I just want everyone to join me in celebrating one of the best friends anyone could ever wish for.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DILCH!!!!
TO GIVE OR NOT TO GIVE, THAT IS THE QUESTION?
Hey peoples!!! I know, I know its been a long minute (as Engineer Ayo would say) since I've updated or even commented on any blogs. Y'all dont even wanna get me started on all the stress of work , bcos once I start I wont be able to stop!
Anyways I trust you've all been good whilst I've been M.I.A. lol. Man, I've got a lot of catching up to do, oh!! But first let me post something before some people will swear for me. (Vera abeg warn your man , Naijabloke, oh! What am I even saying? You too, you even followed him to be harrassing me! lol)
Well I actually thought of posting this a while back. The idea came to me when I was reading Calabargal's post on some
randy bloke she encountered at the train station. He asked her for her telephone number and she lied that she left her phone at home, but whilst she was talking to him, her phone rang, blowing her cover!!! That got me thinking back to the numerous times in the past when I'd been asked for my phone number by some random guy I had just met at party but wasn't even remotedly interested in.
To the ladies: what excuse do you give when you so DO NOT want to give your digits out to some dude you know you definitely wont be speaking to once you leave that particular club/party/get together? Do you :
A. Give a fake number and pray he doesn't call it whilst you're standing there just to prove it's authenticity?
B. Give your real number , but also get his and save it on your phone so that whenever he calls you know its him and can therefore avoid answering?
C. Make some excuse about your phone (as Calabargal did) and take his number instead, knowing fully well you aren't going to call him.
D. Decline politely, but firmly.
Now I'm sure most people would say that the last option is the simplest and the most sensible thing to do , but if, like me, you find it very difficult to say no, sometimes it seems like it is less of a hassle to just come up with an excuse and be done with it. But believe me I tried all of the above excuses in the past only for them to backfire on me. Let me illustrate with the following experiences:
Option A: Some guy I met at a friend's party once asked for my number and of course I gave hima fake number. He didnt try to dial it in front of me, so I thought I'd get away with it. Only for a couple of days later , my friend's brother (who he happens to be friend's with) tells my friend to tell me that the guy had tried calling the number, realised it was a fake one and had rained insults upon my head! I wont repeat the exact words , but I'm sure you get the picture.
Another time I gave a guy at a club a fake number, thinking he wont bother to try and call it as we were in a club! But guess what, he did; right there and then! Needless to say I couldn't make my escape fast enough. lol
Option B: At another party , upon being askled for my number I gave every excuse in the book in order to avoid giving it, but dude just wouldn't take no for an answer! so finally I conceded just to get him off my case and gave him my number but also took his and saved it on my phone under the name 'x' . Everytime he called me I never answered it; for weeks the dude tried and tried and I then I started to get irritated. I thought, ' doesn't this guy give up?' Then he called me on a witheld number . Now I always pick up my phone when I see it's a witheld number bcos most of the time its an international call. I answered and imagine my shock when I was greeted with insults! Dude was going on about how 'you have no home training' and ' you need to learn some f***ing manners!' Na wa oh!!! Because I don't want to talk to you?! When I told you I didnt want to give you my number, you said I was fronting! It's not your fault at all. Na me wey look for trouble! **hiss**
Option C: A friend and I were at a bar and some random guys approached us and asked if they could buy us drinks. Normally I wont accept such an offer but my friend was like 'why not?' So, time for us to leave and , you guessed it, he asked for my number. I was going to lie and say that my phone got stolen, but unfortunately he had already seen me using it . So I lied that I had a boyfriend, but that didnt faze him. He insisted that I take his number, which I did. Then he said, 'why dont you ring it now, so I can make sure its the right number as its a new phone.' Without thinking I called the number! And then realised too late that as a result my number would show up on his phone!! Which it did; I was so mad at myself; what the heck was I thinking? or rather I wasnt thinking at the time. Anyways there followed a few weeks of him calling and me not picking up. Finally I had to get my cousin to answer my phone and pretend to be my boyfriend and warn him to stop calling me. It wasnt funny!
Bottom line; I never give out my number anymore. I try to stick with option D and if the guy thinks I'm fronting, too bad! I think I've received enough insults and harrassment over the whole thing and its certainly not worth all the hassle. And do you know the most annoying thing - the guy you wouldn't mind giving your number to never seems to ask for it!!!
